1. Bullying is disobeying the Golden Rule - treat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule is the answer to all relationship problems. Don’t let others convince you to mistreat someone, to laugh when they are mistreated and don’t ignore it.
2. Remember, no one deserves to be bullied. Don’t let others convince you that you are defective or that you aren’t what you should be. It is never okay to bully someone. If you are doing something that doesn’t help you make and keep friends, try to stop it. But they never have the right to bully you.
3. Always tell a trusted adult and have hope. We know how to prevent and stop bullying. This is not a problem you should try to solve on your own. If the adult doesn’t help you, then tell another adult. One way to stand up for yourself is to ask an adult to help you. You are not tattling, you are reporting. When you tattle, you are trying to get someone into trouble. When you report, you are trying to help someone who is in trouble. Ask an adult to help you develop a safety plan – a way to immediately stay safe. For awhile, report once or twice a day to a trusted adult to let them know how your day went. Ask your parents to keep a log of your mistreatment and to take pictures of injuries. Ask your parents to talk to the school – it may be best that they not be seen there by students who bully you. When adults get involved, bullying can be prevented and stopped. You need their help and those who mistreat others need their help to change. You parents need to know the do’s and don’ts in dealing with bullying. Tell your parents to visit www.bullyfree.com for tips. We now know how adults can help children. Maybe your parents can get an anti-bullying program started in your school. There should be a school-wide program.
4. Bullies want to hurt you, so don’t let them know they have hurt you. If they hurt your feelings, tell an adult about it and write about them in a journal/diary. Don’t hide your feelings and thoughts. There is no reason you should be ashamed. The hurt caused by bullying is stressful, so take care of yourself by eating right and exercising.
5. Students who don’t want to mistreat others out number those who do. You have a lot of power. You don’t have to ignore bullying. You don’t have to laugh. You don’t have to do what the bully says. Take a stand against bullying and help each other to have the courage to make your school Bully Free®.
6. Bullies want to have power and control over you. So don’t look like an easy target. Stand straight and tall, with your shoulders back and head up, walk in a relaxed and energetic way. Don’t let the bully see you sad and cry. Learn assertiveness skills. Your words have power. Visit www.bullyfree.com to see examples of assertiveness skills.
7. Never walk alone and try to avoid the bully as much as possible. If you see the bully coming, walk in a different direction, but don’t act scared. Join others nearby. Keep the bully guessing where you are.
Allan L. Beane, Ph.D.
Bully Free® Systems, LLC
262 Ironwood Drive
Murray, Ketnucky 42071